i miss him sooo much

tdikan aku tdur wa tnghari den aku dngr someone call my name "AMY" emmm no1 ever kol me that only ckatam emmm m i that missing him p bnr i dun wan 2 tink bout it~~ p so many sign bout him was around me 2day so m wondering is there sumting happen 2 him emmm i'm worry to the max~~ p i have to ignore it jua damn it napa ku cemani kan aku nda cemani wa mun aku ingau kan ckatam msti ku tnya kbr and how is his 2day p aku nda mau g kcw ya sal aku tkut krg aku punca smua berantakan emmmm 2han jga lah dirinya untuk diri ku

my day with my mom yesterday

here i wanna say happy mother's day to all mother in this world and to my mom,mama n grandma i love u 3 more than anything~~~~ smlm kn my mom tnya y i never talk bout ckatam g i just silent mcm nda g ku terckp wa n na g ku tau kn ckp apa=( so aku gthu ja aku na g cntct ma ya so my mom tkajut n tnya knapa??? my answer just "emmmmmm" my mom kurik2 lah apa bnr nya jdi so aku na g dpt than i told her everything and ya kata napa bleh jdi smpi kmu nda betagur??? aku pun na tau apa kan djwp~~~ 2 be honest aku na mau text ckatam bkn psl aku mrh ya p aku mlz wa krg jdi pertengkaran na pedah2 krg ckatam g kna slahi na ku suka 2 mun ya plng kna mrh kna 2duh mcm2 sdgkan aku yg salah~~~ emmm so my mom pun tnya aku "do u love katam" aku diam sribu bahasa aku na tau wa apakan djwp bnrta sumpah aku msih blnk so kmi just stop conversation after i said "biar 2han ja tentu kan msa depan kmi, aku trima apa pemberian nya" den mama ckp "nda semesti menyintai atu memiliki lai, and nda semesti org yg tani cinta a2 hidup slamanya ma tani" ckit g wa nitik aing mata ku my mom support aku dlm hal ani and aku bangga wa ada mama cematu ya g aku semngat n2k trus hdup~ and smlm jua my bff tnya aku cpidah ya tnya aku sal ex ku and ya tnya ko syg ex mu ka?? den aku terdiam so aku tnya ya "suka,syg ma cinta a2 sama ka??" so drg jwb nda so aku jwb lah soalan tadi "aku sendri nda tau apa cinta" dulu mungkin aku pernah kata i love katam so much now aku bpkir apa bnr perasan ku pat nya??? lam pikiran ku ya saja n aku na mikirkan ya msih ja ya yg ku ingt emmm m so stupid~~~

right now i'm asking myself did he miss me the way i miss him???

pretending~~~

i pretend to be happy wich i really hate~~ i miss him no matter wat:( ntah na ku tau cana kan ckp~~ everytym on9 a aku wish ya txt aku n say amy i mish u emmm but now i noe he will never say i sal ya mcm ignore aku dah aku tau aku nda ptut hope n2k ya g p ntah a all my way for happinest all i need is him 2 talk wit me~~ slama ani aku pretend ja happy but hell i hate pretending~~ drg ucu pun ku liat gettin ok dah emm i hope they happy m not wish more than that for them g~~ ok lah i have 2 go~~ kan blajar for coming end test i wish he will say something this time aku mcm nada position g ntara kami dua emmm k god help me to settle all of this just help me to find way~~~='(

asignment bnyk lerrr

huhu pning ku e bnyk asyment ni u guys mau tau apa past few days ago cgu cmpter kmi eeeeeeee adakah urg buat asymnt kan dbuat tindakan disiplin eeeeeeeee mntal ja ku 2 otw ku blik khostel pakej bh ku nyumpah saja aduh nda pernh2 bh ku nyumapah cgu bnr jua 2 kan asymnt pun eeee ntah e...nda berkat wa perjalanan ku a argggggggghhhhhhhhhh ani g ku mcm kn dmam eeeeeee distract ku e mnakan sana sni wa kraja sja presentation g within this week huh stress ku e bnr plng aku mau bz mcm ani p nda kan mcm ani bnr ku bz aaaaaaaaaaaaa gila e stresss eeeeeee ggtan ada jua aaahahahhaha k lah kan buat website lu huhu gila udh ni kan buat asymnt my health g wat the hell huh sasak e huhu wish me luck k?? well never stop thinking bout him emmm but plesh help me to be strong

disaster day for me n i wanna say sorie 2 all

rini genap seminngu aku nda btagur ma ckatam so ya txt aku worst la rini bgiku emmm mula2 ucu gthu aku yg cmawai ni nda ikut persembahan sal MC so aku panik lah nda tau apakn dbuat sal cacat kn 2 persembahan kmi so aku o9 lah den emelku a nda dpt msuk even aku msuk pat hotmail pun nda dpt shyt ja 2 so aku panik aku mntal aku o9 la emel ku g 1 yg lama mau jua o9 so dgn mntal nya ku pkirlah cna kn blikkn smula emel ku ani so kwn ku 2long(mimie) ya 2long aku ubh paswrd apa sal ya pun prnh cani kn so berjaya aku dpt 2kar paswrd emel ku tarus lah ku buat pat nik mun kn menghack emel ku ni bljr lu pndi2 den witout any alert ckatam txt aku saying amy... m sory emm for everything emmmmm bnr a i dont know wat hppen between us bru ja smlm ku kn close crita kmi dua ada tya mntxt emmm bnr plng ku bharap ya mntxt p txt mcm besa wa mcm dulu2 p ntah napa ya txt mcm ya bslh arh ku sorg ja emmm bnr ku nda mrh ya bnr aku disappointed p ndakan ntuk happinest nya ku kn mrh mcm ya mrh gfnya x aduh sapakn aku ni kn mrh2 ya huhu so ndakan sal tdi sal mawai den sal emel ku den mntal ku than ku lpskn ni pat smua mun ada urg mc bek ta ku gthu arh sapa yg nda dpt mnari 2 nda ku majal krg kpisan ank urg aku yg kna cri huhu so aku blik hostel n yes aku nmpk cmawai so aku pning g apakan skjp mc skjp nda so mruap lah ku p ku than ku njoy ja liat urg blatih apa pnd n ntake ku~` aku ingau ni sal ku liat performance drg pnd mcm main2 wa all i ask just for a sweet smile ckit ja~~ p nda mau ok aku phm myb drg hafalkan step so relax tup tup tup kna bom drg leh ka tikah p bnrlah drg slh psl drg main2... so tym kmi g performance aku ni msih g cri idea sal ending kan so aku pkir2 den myb lah drg ucu mental sal drg g lum mkn apa aku phm ku ckp mkn ta mun kn mkn p pyh kn sal aircon bnr plng bebau kn 2~~ so drg 2nggu rehearsel bru mkn ok den kmi prctice den drg ucu tnya cna ending ku gthu cana kn den witout ani alert ya bteriak aku tkjut trus ku diam drg pnd mliat aku than aku mrh n disappointed bnr2 so ku than b4 pnd buat persembhan aku chow trus sal aku nda g dpt wa sal aku ilang mud bnr dah wa aku bnr2 nda dpt handle drg aku frust brabis so bek lari ku tinggalkn kunci keta bjln kaki ta ku blik hostel huhu ijap gila ku yg ku pkirkan apa jdi mlm 2 jdi ta 2 mun ku kna krajakan mlm 2 bh redata ku den nda sdr2 ku dngr mawai mnggil aku mnangis n ckp drg nda mrh aku apa honest aku nda mbil ati apa yg jdi p msalahnya aku down bnr2 drg liat kn kurang ajar a2 dpn pnd wa mcm kmi nda hormat nd2 n yes aku ckp drg nda dngr bnr dngr p nda msuk p bnr f aku lah jdi my fren tym tdi 2 nda mustahil aku pun panas 2 mcm drg bnr nada niat ku kn buat brg ani jdi cani n nada niat ku kn buruk2 kan kwn ku p aku just pikir ntah lah p aku nda tau apa bnrnya yg ku mrhi bnr2 aku berdebat ma ucu n mawai kmi blwn ckp smpi suara ku bsr bgagar ni flat a gila e bru ta kluar 2 suara ku bsr cema2 a damn it ntah lah myb psl msalah ku ma ckatam a2 ku than skit ku a2 den dtg g cemani mcm brg ani ku than kn 3 minggu wa pkir kn tya skit bh ntah a yg pnting nada niat ku bnr kn bkelayi ma intake ku aku syg drg mcm family ku aku nda mau kurang ajar dgn mna2 family ku aku bangga knl drg even wat happen 2day i can c sapa yg care sapa yg nda n habit ku dtg blik emmm ani x kdua ku tersedak2 mnangis dpn kwn2 ku aku mnangis bkn minta simpati p dat mean aku disappointed bnr ta udh 2 urg ku syg buat aku down mudahta ku jdi cema2 ntah aku nda tau sasakku smpi wa ku numbuk dinding damn everything change even my habit pun dtg huh i hope dis the last tym aku nda mau brg ani jdi blik bnr ta huhu aku nda mau wa brg ani jdi cani dri ckatam, den my fren, asyment g, my life g everything change bnr2 dah and tym ni pun aku nda percaya yg ulah ku dulu blik smula ulah b4 4thun dulu.... aku mau smua blik smula f ckatam nda blik its ok just one i want bni2 yg knl chomer blik smula no matter wat hppen f bnr aku p2t txt ya give me a sign yg ya bnr2 wan me 2 txt him~~ i give all 2 u ALLAH~~ save kn kwn2 ku dri kna lukai kalau kiranya aku kn smpi tngn pat salah 1 ja kwn ku hukum aku spaya nda bahagia~~ aku bnr2 jnji aku protect kwn-kwnku yg dri dulu smpi skrg yg slalu ada lam ati ku~~ god bless dem

now i close the story between me and katam

i have no more katam='( katam just gone away we not speak again bcoz for his own good~~ i dont want to force him anymore f cht wit him pun mun nda kna lyn emmm nda jua pedah kn mcm siasi plng~~ i noe m hurting coz we nda g contct but its ok i still can survive this is for both of us not getting confused f one of us just fallin in love but the other not the love will never work out so m prefer 2 be like this if he want dis~~ i dont want to force any1 especially him coz seeing he confused, complicated and specially hurting is not in my list his happinest is my priority~~ now i have no KATAM coz katam just my memories n i never ever regret falling in love wit him n i always love him no matter wat coz knowing him is the best things happen in my life~~ n i wish he will talk wit me n never forget bout me~~ n i hope god always protect him even 1 day i died n i really want him 2 know that i never leave him i always stay inside his hart=) tengkiu for everything~~ i never want more from u anymore but remembering my memories=) i dont wanna say that i wanna end eveything but all i can say is i give all 2 allah =) coz i noe HE got plan for me and i just have to wait=)

preparing for performance

kmi tym ni ada 1 day ja lgi 4 our visitor from SVNR kmi emmm naleh lah nari apa emmmm~~ kmi nari lagu dri pussycat doll jaiho dis is the 2nd song from pussycat doll kmi nari from ND1 lah n pnd mnari lagu traditional song "bunga simpur" lawa lah emmm almost perfect hopefully esuk perfect ta~~ emmmm naleh mati lah tym ni emmm bsyd aku prefer mnari all d tym psl aku nda mau mikir brg yg nda pedah2 wa emmm keeping myself busy is the best way gpun aku just nda mau kcw ya g n yes i admit m jealous for wat i saw p no use coz he chuz wich way n i dont have any ryte 2 stop f he don wanna speak wit me den i accept it coz my choice in his hand and i have no reason 2 stay if he dont turn back n hold my hand its ok coz m still me n 4 years is the best memories dat i never forget n i will tell that to all my grandchildren dat faith is always fair=') its all in side our heart if love someone just say it its no harm 2 tell wat u feel coz heart always tell the true....=')